I Hate Networking Events... But I Still Go

I don’t like going to networking events, I feel like the hit rate is really low.

But I go anyway. Why? Because it gets me out of the house, and I use it as a funnel to meet interesting people.

That’s when the magic starts to happen…

We all know that networking events aren’t the most pleasant or fun. Most of them are dull, poorly organized, and most of the people there are painfully ~average~

Then why would I still go?

Simple, it plays on two of my core values:

Proximity is power

The compounding effect

Proximity is power: For whatever you’re seeking; money, success, fitness, real estate, you can only get so far on your own. The best way to learn fast is to surround yourself with people who have the same interests as you. If you want a six pack, start hanging out with people who make it part of their routine to go to the gym everyday. If you want to be wealthy, hang out with people who are there or want to be there. You don’t want to live their exact life. By surrounding yourself with the type of people you want to emulate, you start to pick up on the habits they have that got them to where they are today. Take mental notes, keep surrounding yourself with those people. Soon enough, you’re going to start acting like them, and achieve the same things they have too.

The compounding effect: check this graphic out. It hammers it home. People think success is a small step function, or linear growth, it’s not. You need to continuously put in the work. Whatever you’re working towards, week after week, you probably won’t see “success” for a while. That’s fine. You’re laying down the groundwork to propel you to that exponential growth, but it takes time and you need to consistently get those reps in to get good at whatever you’re doing.

My goal is to be successful. What does that mean? It means something different to every single person. But I know in order to get myself there I need to act on what I just preached: surrounding myself with these kinds of people. I get incredibly energized by connecting with people, learning about them, finding the weird things that make them tick, and how they built their wealth (however much that is).

How do I find them? I get the hell out of the house. Working from home drives me insane, I can’t do it. I get shit done when I collaborate, brainstorm, and bounce ideas off other people.

Enter Public events:

Aside from meeting people and forcing myself to be an extrovert, I’m a freaking nerd deep down. I was raised watching Star Wars & the Sci-Fi channel, I have two different engineering degrees, and I used to pretend to be in the Lord of the Rings battles in my backyard when I was a kid. What am I getting at? I love technology and science. I like building stuff. What I realized is I didn’t like building mechanisms, I loved building solutions and products, especially the ones that make money.

So, that’s the type of people that I surround myself with. Entrepreneurs, people in tech, and people high up in successful companies (no matter the size).

I find the types of events that attract these types of people. I show up. And I do one of the hardest things people find doing. I go introduce myself and talk to people that are there. Not just randomly, but with intent.

I learned something from Tim Ferris that really stuck with me. When Tim showed up to Silicon Valley, he was a nobody, he didn’t know a single person. Tim attended and volunteered at events that he found interesting, for him that was Blogs. Then, he talked to people. Not the people that were being flocked by everyone else, such as panel speakers, but the moderator. He thanked the moderator for how they led the event and shared that he was new to town, shared what he was interested in, and if they hit it off he would simply ask. “Hey I don’t know anyone here, is there anyone else here you think I’d get along with, I’d like to buy them a coffee to get to know them” and if they said “yeah I think ~this person~ would be someone good to connect with” he would introduce himself, rinse and repeat. It was all with good intent, but he was intentional, even surgical, with whom he’d connect with.

That’s proximity, that’s compounding. That’s what I do.

So what? Cool I met a successful person, then what?

I invite them to one of my own events, I call them mixers. Again, no strings attached, there’s no hidden agenda. I lay it out as “I get some friends together every couple weeks that also do what you’re doing, I think you would like them.” Some people come, some people don’t. That’s ok.

What I’m doing is I’m starting to create my circle of successful people that I want to surround myself with, I learn from them, they make some new connections, new friends, they see value in the people I bring around. They start seeing value in me. They come back. We stay in touch, we hang out more. Next thing you know, I’ve got a circle of successful people that I spend my time with.

So why do I go to these events?

I get the reps in. I learn how to pitch myself. I learn how to listen. I get comfortable being in new and uncomfortable situations.

I create my circle, it compounds, I learn. That’s how I can become successful.