6 Months without alcohol

I didn’t hit rock bottom. I didn’t have a “problem.” I wasn’t spiraling, and my relationships weren’t strained because of alcohol. Honestly, life was good.

You know how people post dramatic before-and-after pictures when they quit drinking? Well — here’s mine:

See the difference? Exactly. Barely anything. Physically, I look almost the same.

So let’s get the hand-wavy stuff out of the way early: I didn’t stop drinking because my life was falling apart. I stopped because I didn’t want to feel even a little worse than I had to.

This isn’t a story about spiraling. It’s a story about choosing better — for me.

And that made it weirdly harder to quit. There was no glaring reason to stop. The funny part about it? Drinking alcohol never had clear and obvious negative impacts on my life. Which made it incredibly easy to think: Why not just have one?

Here’s the TL;DR timeline on how I got here:

• 2021 - I was drinking casually, working out regularly, and living the typical 27-year-old San Diego lifestyle — festivals, hikes, weekend trips. Everything looked and felt fine.

• 2022 - I started burning out on the party scene. I was DJing more, still playing soccer and lifting, but getting stingy about spending. I’d bought a Tesla (RIP), and to justify the payment, I started cutting back. First to go? Alcohol and Ubers. I figured: drive myself, maybe have one drink, and save $400 a month. Yes, incredibly flawed logic. I call that boy-math.

• Late 2022 - I realized… I didn’t need to drink at events. Skipping drinks altogether saved me even more, and I actually felt better. Without realizing it, I was becoming “the sober guy” in my friend group.

• New years eve 2022 - Got this text December 28 2022 from my friend Nate. I was only dabbling here and there with a drink, why not take this to an extreme and just not drink at all for 2023? At that point, I didn’t know anyone that would be interested in doing this with me. I did it anyways. I decided I would not drink for 2023.

• June 2023 - Broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. “Ah shit, how do I go on dates now?” In my head most dates were “lets grab a drink.” Took me some time to get over the breakup so come September I was experimenting with trying to go on dates and not drink. I gracefully fumbled all of these, but hey you gotta learn.

• September 2023 - I hit 9 months without alcohol! My friends were in town for CRSSD music festival. I was feeling frisky and on a dime decided. “Ok, I’ll have a drink now.” Poof. That’s it. And guess what? Nothing “bad” happened. I figured I’d loosen the rules and just drink occasionally — first dates, big events, social lube

  

  Still one of the best festivals I’ve been to 🕺🏼

  This is where things get interesting…

• Late 2023 – Early 2024

  • I told myself I’d only drink for big occasions — a wine-soaked wedding in Italy, mezcal in Mexico City, or a date where I felt like I needed a crutch. But every time, I felt like shit afterward — not just the next morning, but for two full days.

    

    I have 12+ glasses of wine at this wedding and then hikes a 13k ft mountain in Morocco the following day.

  • I was still scared to cut it out completely. I was single and (in my head) thought alcohol was the only way to meet people or ease into social settings.

  • At the same time, I hated going to bars just to drink. I had just moved to San Francisco, wanted to meet new people, and didn’t want alcohol to be the center of it all — so I started hosting cold plunge events to attract my kind of crazy.

• October 28, 2024

  • After a celebration trip to Mexico City for F1, where I consumed a heroic amount of mezcal, wine, and tequila, I woke up foggy and frustrated. That was it. No dramatic crash. Just a quiet moment on my flight back to SF where I thought: I’m over this.

Feel lackluster? I know. You might be thinking “I came here to be inspired by your story of sobriety. That’s it?”

Yep. That’s it.

I simply noticed how I was feeling and decided: this isn’t for me anymore. On October 28, I downloaded the “I Am Sober” app and started the clock.

That’s exactly what made it so hard at first — there was no dramatic breaking point. Just a quiet choice that required real follow-through.

The peer pressure? Very real.

Friends would frame every occasion as a “special occasion” — a reason to make this the time I’d drink again.

One reframe help change on how I could handle that.

When someone offers you a drink…

Instead of: “I’m not drinking.”

Say: “Thanks for offering, but I don’t drink.”

Saying “I’m not drinking” leaves the door open for “Why not tonight?”

Stating it as part of your identity shuts down the conversation — gently — and reinforces the choice.

There have been multiple moments that tested me. Like a Christmas dinner where my friend's dad bought us a $600 bottle of Argentinian wine. It was a special occasion, some really really nice wine, I would do it for the taste and it’s fine right? That was an extremely tough no to say, I was early in the beginning I didn’t want to feel like I was giving up on my new commitment.

Since then I’ve seen a lot of changes that you wouldn’t see by just looking at me. They’re internal and have impacted my social life.

• I’m less inclined to party, more open to keen on showing up to places where conversation comes before consumption.

• I’ve had to completely rethink how I meet people without alcohol at the center. That’s part of why I started Plunge Party — not for profit, not for clout. I just wanted to create the kind of space I needed — and maybe help others feel less alone too. That’s why I am more excited and driven than ever to be that person that creates the space (and community) I wish existed. For others.

• Dating was really hard at first. I’m a confident guy that was relatively incompetent when it came to meeting women. I realized alcohol was my crutch for connection with women and it even blinded me into thinking I liked them more than I really did at first. I forced me to get creative with asking girls out. Instead of lets “get a drink” I now do:

  • Coffee

  • Yoga class

  • Sunset walks

  • Bite to eat and appetizers

  • Afternoon picnic in the park

I’m sticking with this indefinitely. I feel my best right now mentally and physically, I don’t want to lose that. People talk about swapping one addiction for another. That might be true. For me my obsessive energy goes toward working on my business, socializing even more, training hard, and yes… probably too much espresso and yerba mate. But I’ll take that trade any day.

What I Wish More People Knew About This

This isn’t about diabetes.

It’s not about “biohacking,” or being part of the health-and-wellness scene.

It’s just about feeling better. Period.

A Note to My Future Self — And You

I’m writing this so I can look back, years from now, and remember: Six months wasn’t the finish line. It was the first beautiful baby step in the right direction. And I’m writing this for you, too. Because when I started, I didn’t know anyone else doing this. I didn’t feel like I had support. I didn’t know how to navigate the social hurdles. And I didn’t realize how deeply this decision would ripple through every part of my life.

If you’re thinking about trying it — just know: You’re not better than anyone else for not drinking. But you are making a choice for yourself. Own it out loud. That’s how it sticks. Yes, you’ll get some flack. But if someone doesn’t respect your choice to opt out — of drinking, or anything else — maybe they’re not meant to be in your life anyway.

So if you want to try it, let me know. Shoot me an email about your experience. Just start, you don’t need all the answers. I want to help people get to where I am now.

And if you’re further down the road than me — I want to hear from you too. you’re going to be my inspiration to keep going.

We’re in this together.

Rooting for you

You’re Awesome,

Jared

Things Worth Clicking

A few gems I found on the internet this week - no digging required

• My friends Robyn Smith and Paige Doherty on why you should embrace cringe

• Following up on leaning into cringe

• How to build a landing page that converts

I Dig So You Don’t Have To

1 Set:

2 IDs:

Gentlemen’s Agreement 🤝🏻

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